So yesterday i had 2 red bulls and 5 cups of coffee and just went to town on a word doc. Now, i will not be posting it any time soon due to the graphic and personal nature of said document. But the reason for THIS post is because i think i have a problem, one that i probably will not look to fix any time soon. On this lovely day i’ve had 4 cups of coffee so far (didn’t refrigerate red bulls last night due to inevitable caffeine crash that put me in bed at 8). I’m feeling super wired and i have to admit i’m starting to shake a little. Still no heart palpitations but i’m sure they’ll come on soon. Just a funny little happening that happened (duh)…

Me: Is anyone else’s computer running super slow

Co-worker 1: You mean the internet?

Me: No just the computer in general.

Co-worker 1: Oh, no everything is running fine for me.

Co-worker 2: Maybe you’re just so caffeinated that it seems like everything is going too slow when in fact its running at normal speed.

i have to admit i burst out laughing and gave him snaps for that. too funny. k bye.


The Help

Posted: August 11, 2011 in Random Reviews

I saw this movie last night and i have to say, it was fantastic. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys uplifting and powerful movies. i cried 4 times which was pretty embarrassing considering i went with a guy i really like, but whatever, he thought it was cute. Emma Stone is fantastic in it and all the characters are truly believable. Just thinking about it now is choking me up and a big part of me want to go read the book. Long story short, go see that movie. I guarantee you’ll leave the theater truly touched.

Bipolar Rant

Posted: August 8, 2011 in Random Ramblings

Being bipolar is probably one of the hardest things i’ve had to deal with in my entire life. The worst part is that people don’t understand and probably never will. I question everything and i’m paranoid about everything, i see myself as worthless and unloveable, i’m constantly going thru thoughts of suicide, i have constant panic attacks and anxiety attacks, i break down all the time and have to excuse myself from work to go to the bathroom and cry. I try to find comfort in people but i always question how genuine their words are especially when it comes to men and in my mind it gets to the point where they’re probably tired of having to prove that they actually care and just give  up mainly  because of the fact that they don’t understand. i have very thin skin and i’m a lot more sensitive to things than normal people would be. i always question what i’m saying and jumping to conclusions about how people might interpret what i say. for some reason i feel like no amount of medication is helping and i’m becoming more and more hopeless. I don’t like going to my friends for help because i know they don’t understand and after a while i know i would start to annoy them. I wish there was someone out there who would be able to accept the way i am and be strong enough to love me even though i have this condition. I wish there was a cure. I wish that i had any other illness. I would even take cancer over this because at least then i wouldn’t be so emotionally unstable. I just want someone to  hold me and tell me that everything is ok and that they love me. But i doubt that person is out there. I doubt anyone is strong enough to be with me.

So today while listening to some Janis Joplin, a quote really stood out to me.

“when you wanna hold someone, you gotta hold them like its the last minute of your life.”

This quote speaks to me on so many different levels. You never know what could happen today or 5 hours from now or 5 minutes from now. Nothing is promised and the sad thing is that for most of us, every day is the same as the day before. It’s all one big cycle and its causing us to waste our lives. Its things like that that make me want to drop everything and join the peace corps or something. And really, whats stopping me? Whats stopping any of us from stopping what we’re doing and become a part of something we don’t know. I know there are some things like financial stability and practicality that stop most of us, but i would love to just leave it all behind and dive into something bigger than me. Maybe its my carefree youth talking. Maybe its my impulsive nature brought on by bipolar disorder (yes i’m bipolar). Who knows. But I just might do it. I just might abandon everything i know and set out on a totally unknown adventure. Until then i leave you with my random ramblings.

Peace & Love

G Lounge

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Random Ramblings

So last night was quite the experience, and by experience I mean my first time at a gay bar. Me and 2 of my co-workers (one which happens to  be gay) all headed to G Lounge in Chelsea for a few after work drinks (which was great cause their happy hour is from 4pm-9pm). At first I didn’t really know what to expect but I was excited nonetheless. Upon arriving I noticed all the very attractive men everywhere (and the lack of women to my surprise). What was great about it was that it was like being in an eye candy shop without the annoyance of getting hit on by ridiculously drunk guys. Any guy that you do talk to is talking to you because he’s a nice friendly guy and not trying to get into your pants. While there I met this one guy who was visiting from Mexico and we started talking about random fabulous things and by the end of the night I was sad to have to leave. For all you bar crawling people out there, I would definitely recommend going to G Lounge in downtown NYC.

So lately I’ve been getting really into documentaries (thank you Netflix instant streaming) and if there’s one topic I love watching documentaries on, its religion. Now, before we proceed, I would like to state for the record that I am agnostic and take a very unbiased stance on most controversial religious topics. Anyway, the other day I watch a documentary called Lord, Save Us From Your Followers.

Needless to say, this film took a look at religion from a somewhat resentful point of view, but I liked it nonetheless. It hit on all the major religious topics like creation vs evolution, homosexuality, separation of church and state, religion in pop culture, and the general public’s view of Christians and Christianity. Now, I don’t want to get up my ass or anything but I’m just gonna go ahead and state how I feel about said issues…

Creation vs Evolution, just teach them both (at least in this country) and let the kiddies decide what they want to believe.

Homosexuality, the bible says its an “abomination” which in biblical terms doesn’t mean what it means today, it just means something that went against tradition, I mean, the bible also says its an abomination to eat shrimp and wear fabric made of different materials (sorry poly-cotton blend).

Separation of Church and State, I get that some people don’t want to offend anyone which is cool, but when you take it to the point of taking away Christmas trees from public places and forbidding a Menorah from being placed in a public park, then its time to check yourself, I mean, its only for a week or two out of the whole year, chill the fuck out.

Religion in Pop Culture, I don’t know what it is, but lately everyone has become so sensitive when it comes to religion and things of that nature, and its on both extremes, you have people protesting The Passion of the Christ and you have religious people protesting Harry Potter, religion has also become one of the biggest vessels for satire (see: South Park’s Muhammad episode and one of the top 5 reasons everyone thought George Bush was an incompetent idiot), religion seems like the fuel to comical fire.

The General Public’s View of Christians and Christianity, in this film they asked people on the streets what came to mind when they thought of Christians, the answers varied from “holy” to “hypocritical” and most of the views given were none too positive. Its a shame that Christians have gotten a bad reputation because of a select few that make themselves look like condescending assholes. I know many people who call themselves Christians, some are very kind wholesome and not judgmental at all, others think that they ARE Jesus, or actually, scratch that, they think they’re God himself. Unfortunately for the rest of the Christian community, those extremists are usually the ones we all hear about, shame.

All in all I have to say this film was very good and had a lot of good points to make. Two thumbs up, fine holiday fun, non-religious holiday that is, perhaps Arbor Day.

I am completely new to this whole blogging thing. Really the only reason I started one is because I love to write and it would be cool to keep a record of all my random thoughts.

Just a little taste of what you might find here (if all goes according to plan, which, lets face it, rarely happens)

  • Reviews of anything from movies to random little gadgets
  • Personal thoughts on happenings throughout the world
  • Random thoughts, ideas and opinions that cross my mind

I guess for my first post I’ll keep it short and sweet (just like me haha). Thanks for stopping by my crazy little world.